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you were a gateway to an early grave and I was so eager i lost myself

from birthday party and other songs by briallyn

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about

the breakup song

lyrics

in that house full of ghosts, we touched each other's skin
and they watched, disapproving
but i couldn't let you in, should never have let you in
i know how to take and i'm always expecting more
but i'm hopeless at giving, i always just stare at the floor
i'm always just staring at the floor
i don't regret what i did, it's too late to change the ending
i don't recognize the feeling of loss or freedom
all i know is that i don't know anything
and there's no way to know what's coming
but i didn't leave you, my love left me
all i did was break up with who i used to be
because i'm not who i used to be
mum didn't take me to the doctor's until it was too late
and i'd already self-medicated with cigarettes and self hate
and i'm sorry you weren't to me what i was to you
we were never good at talking on the phone
i have all his messages locked, i asked you to leave me alone
and then i left you alone
i'm sorry i disappointed you, you know
i disappointed myself, too

credits

from birthday party and other songs, released June 17, 2014
inspired by flower face

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briallyn California

briallyn rose // 24 // bay area ca

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